So aggravated right now

How is it only 2 pm and I'm already this pissed off at the world?  I haven't even left the house yet and I just want to throw things across the room.

Woke up this morning listening to my parents downstairs talking about the Foreign Service Officer Test I'm taking next week.  My mom asked me about it last night and basically told me that I underrate myself too much, and started giving me all these examples (based on one of the sample questions in the study guide I have) of "creative ideas" I've had.  I honestly do not see myself as a creative person, but my mom insists that drawing and writing constitutes creativity, regardless of the fact that I cannot draw properly without a decent reference and I can't even write anything without first being given an idea.  And I highly doubt helping the choir I was in my freshman year of university with their pronunciation of French and Spanish songs count either seeing as how I did not volunteer for that, but was rather volunteered.  And it's not like that even takes a lot of creativity: it's basically just saying "Here's how the phrase is supposed to sound, get it as right as you can and don't make these mistakes."  My mom insisted that because I was the only person who could have done that that it made me creative, but I really beg to differ.  I'm just not creative.  And I certainly haven't been told that any of my ideas are creative.  They may say I'm creative, but I've never been told any one specific thing I've done is creative.  Because no one compliments me on my work, they just compliment what I've said or what I've done in general.  I grew up being told that "modesty is the best policy" and maybe I've taken it to heart a little too much because I swear I can't even accept compliments from people because I'm convinced they want something.  Or they're just trying to be nice.  Not that I don't like anything I've done, but I've just gotten so used to not receiving compliments on things I've worked really hard on that I guess I've stopped caring.  No, I really don't trust people at all.  I don't trust them to be nice to me, I don't trust them to be honest with me.  Which is probably why I have a hard time being honest with other people.  Whatever.  I have issues.  I get it.

And then my computer decided it wasn't going to work for about two and a half hours when I got downstairs.  It does this a lot, it mostly has to do with the amount of RAM my computer has (or doesn't), but since I'm broke and have bills to pay on top of it, I don't have money to expand my RAM, so my computer complains and whines and freezes on me, taking forever to load.  Not to mention that every time I click on a tab in Chrome (the only browser that functions properly on this machine; thankfully it's my favorite browser anyway) my entire computer freezes up.  I'm probably going to have all these Mac nerds commenting now telling me to get a Mac, and you know what, SCREW YOU AND YOUR MAC ELITISM.  I don't give a damn.  Macs are expensive.  I don't have $1500 to buy a new computer.  Hell, I don't even have $500 to buy a new computer.  It's much more probable for me to just buy more RAM and upgrade to Windows 7 (yes, I'm running that ass of Vista...I bought this computer in December 2007 just before I left for Spain to study abroad because I needed a laptop) for less than what a new computer would cost.  And I honestly do like my HP.  It's gone through a few bumps (three re-formats in three months, but since April 2009 I haven't had any issues), and I'm 99% positive that the issues I'm having right now are RAM-related since I only have a gig of it.  My hard drive is doing great, so really, I just need to boost the memory and I'll be fine.

Okay, so things aren't going that badly.  It's just that computer problems tend to aggravate every problem I have in my life.  Thankfully my Zune (Yep, Microsoft's answer to the iPod, and to be honest, I love it better than I could love any iPod.  My only complaint is that 80 gigs of storage is far too few for me (don't even ask), but other than that, this thing is amazing.  It really is.  I would only consider parting with it for a nice 32 or 64-gb iPod Touch, and even then, I'd just keep it as a portable internet browser.  Anyway.  Point is, I love my Zune.) has stayed with me through every computer and general technology issue I've had.  Love it to bits.

Oh, and then there's all the football (soccer for North Americans) wank going on in the fandom about Fernando Torres that's just making me lose my mind.  I don't even really like the guy (I honestly think he's overrated; guy's got talent but lately he's been way off form and injury-prone.  As soon as he gets over that I think he'll be great again.) but holy crap, people are going bonkers over it and pretty much everything that comes out of the hardcore Torres fans is laughable.  Either they can't understand why he'd "betray" Liverpool, or they laugh at people who are upset about it, whatever.  I honestly can't say that I blame his motives, but I definitely think that the way he left was incredibly disrespectful to Liverpool fans (which I am not, I only support FC Barcelona and Athletic Bilbao in the Spanish league, and I really only watch Barça matches) and the comment he made at the press conference for Chelsea saying how he was finally able to play at a big club was uncalled for and downright rude.  As a non-fan it was actually kind of amusing, but people...oh gosh, people.  Let's just say that I really can't stand fangirls: those people whose entire existences revolves around their favorite player(s), most of whom are just really realy hot, those people who think that supporting FC Barcelona and Real Madrid (and Manchester United and Liverpool) is okay, those people who will now be Chelsea fans because their favorite player (Torres) now plays for them.  The headaches.  Which is why I'm here, on Blogspot.  As a refuge from the crazy on Tumblr.

This ended up being a lot longer than I intended.