Nostalgia's going to kill me

About a month ago on Spotify I created a playlist called "Spain 1997-2000" for the sole purpose of archiving the songs I used to listen to all the time back then, when I would sit in my room with my tape recorder (how old school! xD) with Los 40 Principales on the radio and I would press "play/record" whenever a song I liked came on so I could stick the tape in my Walkman (gotta love the late '90s!) and listen to my favorite songs from the radio as I walked the twenty minutes to school and the twenty minutes back.

The truth is, I haven't really listened to the playlist until just last night when I decided to put it on again and put some more songs onto the playlist.  I shuffled through it when I first made it but skipped each song after about thirty seconds so I knew which songs were in there.  And it's crazy, because so many of these songs I literally haven't listened to in years, and by years I mean ten, eleven, twelve years.  So naturally, because music is an incredibly powerful mnemonic device for me (personally, music works far better than scent for me; scent loses its memory powers after a while, while music...something always remains of those memories for years on), when I listen to songs like "Summer Son" by Texas or "Depende" by Jarabe de Palo, or "Fly Away" by Lenny Kravitz I can see myself sitting on the wood floor of my bedroom, looking out towards Artea and the highway running from Bilbao to Algorta.  I can also still smell the Bilbao Metro when it was still virtually brand new: frosted metal, plastic, and faint velvet upholstery.

It's nuts.  So many memories.  Memories of walking to school at eight in the morning, memories of driving to Burgos to play in the snow (it rarely, if ever, snows in the Basque Country so we used to drive to the border with Burgos and the mountains to see it), memories of driving to Urkiola and other parks, memories of rainy days in Bermeo, memories of driving to Bermeo with a friend from camp because she was the only person besides one to be in town for my birthday and I was invited to spend some time with her family, and then being told "Oh by the way, just so you know, we usually speak Euskera at home but for you, we'll speak Spanish!"  Memories of paying 500 pesetas to go the movies on Saturday nights with my friends at the Puerto Deportivo in Getxo and the trip to the Aquarium and beach in Donosti.  Of walking from our school out into Berango and over the hills, getting muddy and enjoying the scenery on a Physical Education field trip and not feeling tired until I was on the final stretch home.  Of youth retreats in Estella and hikes in the Sierra de Urbasa as well as trips into the city.  Of how when my best friend would talk about going to her pueblo in León I decided Estella was going to be mine.  Of sitting in the Brussels airport for five hours waiting for a flight to Oslo on a family vacation.

I honestly believe that some of the best years of my life were 1998-2000, and listening to music from back then confirms it.  It's better than having pictures to look at, because as long as I still have something to jog my memory of crazy events from my childhood and remember things I did, places I went, friends I hung out with, and other random things that I probably wouldn't even think about unless I had something to remind me about all those things.

This is why music is my drug of choice.  It keeps creating memories for me, and I'm going to keep creating playlists of my life.  And I'm going to listen to them whenever I feel like I need to take a step back and remind myself of the good times I've had.

Gora Euskadi! Vol. 1

1. “Ez Naiz Beldurtzen” — Zea Mays
2. “Muxu Batekin” — Lauroba
3. “Batzuek Ixo” — Joseba Irazoki
4. “Ilargia” — Ken Zazpi
5. “43º4’51-N 2º56’39-W” — Split 77
6. “Ihes Egin Ezazu” — Dank
7. “Lau Teilatu” — Itoiz
8. “Zuri Begira” — Siroka
9. “Maite Zaitut” — Takolo, Pirritx Eta Porrotx
10. “Marea Gora” — Koma
11. “Itxoiten” — Gaur Ez
12. “Rose” — Kerobia
13. “Haizerik Gabeko Eguna” —Malenkonia
14. “Segi, Segi, Segi” — Skalariak
15. “Galdu Gara” — Josu Bergara
16. “Goazen” — Hemendik At
17. “Amets” — Gari
18. “Lorak Eskeintzen” — Gatibu
19. “500 Urte Ta Gero” — Berri Txarrak
20. “Zenbat Bide?” — Etxe

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Ihes Betean / An Escape

I downloaded the new Ken Zazpi album (released late last year) a few days ago, and while I've liked the Basque band since I started listening to them in 2008 with their album Argiak, they far outdid themselves with this one.  I am in love with every single track on this album, particularly "Hel Nazazu Eskutik" ("Take Me By the Hand") and "Hemen Gaude" ("We're Here"), as well as this one, "Ihes Betean" ("An Escape").

This song actually caused me to have a bit of an emotional breakdown this morning, something that rarely happens (but it's the second time in the last couple months, so I am starting to worry), mostly snowballing from the lines "itzuli den etxera", which in Basque means "returning home".

"Returning home"

Those two words, repeated over and over again at the end of the song, started a chain reaction that got me to thinking about the people, or lack thereof, in my life.  The fact that my two best friends are on opposite sides of the globe with me in the middle, the fact that one of them is going through a tough situation with her family and the other who has a boyfriend in Madrid who she never gets to see (and who I've never met).  The fact that I haven't been in a situation to be able to just call up my best friend and say "Hey, want to hang out?" or to have a literal shoulder to cry on since the middle of 2000 (yes, that's 11 years).

It just makes me feel so helpless, so useless.  The internet's done a great job at bringing me closer to these people because I'm able to chat with them, but as anyone can tell you, it's just not the same as having someone down the street or across town you can call up and meet up with each other at a given spot at a given time.  I have to wait to visit my friends till I have money, or till they can come visit me, and it's been over a year since I've seen both of them.

And with this it got me thinking about my social life, and the fact that I haven't had a solid social life since possibly high school, and even that it was debateable because I didn't really have any close friends in high school either.  I just have to wonder if I really will be alone, on a physical level, forever.  Because it's been so long since I haven't felt utterly alone I don't know if I'll be able to handle not being alone.

And it's terrifying.

Visca Catalunya! Vol. 2

1. “Al Mar” — Manel
2. “Alguna Cosa”  — Gossos
3. “Les Meves Ex i Tu” — Els Amics de les Arts
4. “Tornarem” — Lax ‘n’ Busto
5. “Compta Amb Mi” — Dept.
6. “La Teva-Meva Vida” — Glaucs
7. “Per Veure’t a Tu” — Els Pets
8. “Boomerang” — Manel
9. “Oxigen” — Gossos
10. “V” — Els Amics de les Arts
11. “Poetes” — Dept.
12. “Una Cara Bonica” — Mishima
13. “No És Massa Tard” — Lax ‘n’ Busto
14. “El Moment Que No Surt Mai a les Cançons” — Mishima
15. “Barcelona” — Glaucs
16. “Me Sobren Paraules” — Antònia Font

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This Moment

All that I need is this moment
To send me away with a smile on my face
I tried to leave but I turn back
On my heart remains a trace

I don't usually like to talk about my favorite music.  Not because I don't listen to music --on the contrary, I'm always listening to music--, but because I just don't care if other people know what kind of music I listen to.  I refuse to judge people based on the music they listen to, so I usually try not to make a big deal out of what I like to put into my headphones.  Anytime I share music I enjoy on Tumblr I'm lucky to get two notes, but since I only have just under 140 followers it's not that big of a deal.  Besides, Flash takes up a lot of memory to run.  It's cool.

But I kind of want to talk about some music I like right now.  One of the genres that I've really grown to love in the last couple of years is trance.  Mostly trance prog, or progressive trance, because it's more mellow and low-key and much more melodic than what most people expect when they think of "trance" music.  I actually enjoy all kinds of trance, from relaxed progressive to frenetic, gritty industrial, but prog is definitely my favorite.  And this track, the one I posted above, is one of my all-time favorites.

One of the things I really love about trance music is that when lyrics are involved, they tend to be incredibly powerful.  Trance artists don't just throw lyrics at a song just to try to make it more interesting, there is almost always a lot of thought involved in the songwriting.  So many of my favorite trance songs are favorites of mine because of the lyrics almost as much as because of the music itself.  And what's beautiful about trance is that since most people just shrug is off as being "talentless" because it's electronically generated, it's still in a sense "under the radar".  And honestly, the biggest trance artists like Above & Beyond and Gareth Emery have an extensive background in music-making.  I heard an Above & Beyond acoustic session once and was blown away.  Two of the DJs were on the acoustic guitar, another on the keyboard, and then there was a vocalist, and the result sounded like jazz night at your local bar.  And Gareth Emery...he plays keyboard on his track "Too Dark Tonight", and when he performs it live, it's an acoustic performance, at least when his sister Roxanne, who does the vocals for the track, is onstage.  I sincerely believe that it is completely unfair to consider electronic music, at least as far as trance is concerned (but even electronic music as an entire genre), "talentless", because I have seen nothing but talent from many of these artists.

Anyway, trance music isn't the only music I listen to, and some other time I'll talk about some of my other favorite songs.  But right now I wanted to post this one, because it's been a favorite for a while now and I felt I should share.

Visca Catalunya! Vol. 1

Another mix imported from my Tumblr!  This one is a compilation of some of my favorite Catalan songs, all by different artists.  I'm calling it "Vol. 1" because I'm planning on doing another mix with more of my favorites, this time with less variety in the artists (though I actually listen to a ton of Catalan music, so it's not like there will only be three artists in there heh).

I should also clarify that not *all* these artists are Catalan/from Catalunya, but most are.  And all the songs are in Catalan either way.

Enjoy!

Terrassa Mix

Another mix, this one revolves around the Catalan city of Terrassa.  Just north of Barcelona, it's 45 minutes by FGC, accessible from downtown BCN, and definitely worth a visit.  At least I think so, though I'm primarily fascinated with it for language and cultural reasons, since there isn't much intrinsically touristic about it.  I'll probably talk about it more in another post.

The songs on this mix are pretty low-key and relaxed, having more of an acoustic or laid-back feel to them. They're definitely not the upbeat frenetic tracks features in the previous mix I posted.  R.E.M. dominates the mix, though most of the music is Spanish indie, with Catalan indie band Love of Lesbian dominating.  These songs just "feel" Terrassa to me, as they feature a music style that really feels inherent to the city.  I also use this mix as a rainy day playlist because the music has an almost melancholic sound without being outright depressing.

Spanish Mix

I have no idea what this mix is for or from, but it must have been made around April of last year because of the music that's in it.  Anyway, I found it and figured I'd share it, because it has some music in it that I think is worth your while if you're interested in Spanish music.  Most of the artists in this mix are Spanish (from Spain), but all the music is definitely Spanish-influenced, as there's some flamenco in here.

(Note: This isn't the order the tracks are in in the folder, just the way I'd *like* them to be arranged.  But you can do whatever you want with them in the end.)

Summer 2010 Mix

I originally shared this over at my 1st Tumblr (which I left in November) in September.  It features some of my favorite songs from last summer, songs which I totally jammed out to on my various trips, such as Barcelona, Bilbao and Salamanca, as well as a couple trips I took into New York City.  A lot of these songs I got hooked on in my many hours of listening to Barcelona-based dance radio station Flaix.fm (they stream live over the internet!), and others I've had long before that but I didn't really listen to them until this past summer.

It's all dance/house music, very radio- and club-friendly, but it's still pretty decent music (though I'll admit that a lot of the songs did become quite overplayed last year, especially the David Guetta tracks).  Enjoy.