2011 In Review

Wall Street, January 1, 2011

I started the year in a Downtown Manhattan apartment with some friends and hoped that getting away from my family and spending NYE in NYC would be the perfect way to ring in the new year and maybe bring in a little luck.  It didn't, but it was still the greatest NYE experience I've ever had.  So many, many thanks to Emma and Olivia for an awesome time.

I had a two-week job at the end of February and into March watching a nine-month old baby during a seminar in Toronto and was paid (in cash) for my efforts.  The weather started getting warmer in April and that was when I started exploring more of Toronto, and even though I still wouldn't say I'm an expert in every nook and cranny of the city, I definitely got to know it better than I had in the winter.

In July my dad was offered this job here in South Carolina and he came down to start in September, and in October I came down with my mom to stay permanently.  I'm still hoping to get out sometime soon, but it has less to do with South Carolina and Greenville themselves and more with my unwillingness to spend too long in a small town with very few employment opportunities.

Toronto, ON, Canada, September 3, 2011

Overall, it's been a slow and frustrating year, as as far as tax records go, I spent the entire year unemployed.  But I certainly have learned a lot about myself, both positive and negative (possibly more negative than positive, but I'm already a bit of a pessimist as it is), and through different volunteering activities I've still been able to maintain and develop my skill sets.

Here's hoping I can get one step closer to finding myself in 2012.  I'll try to be optimistic.

And while I'm not much of a New Years Resolutions kind of person, I'm going to try to resolve to be more open with people, and more willing to get myself out there more, even if it means leaving my comfort zone for a little while.

Option #1

I always swore to myself I'd never teach English.  The number one reason was because I don't teach.  I can't teach.  I lack the patience and the skills, and people's inability to learn things that I know is frustrating to me (and frustrating to just about everyone else, which probably explains a lot, really, but I am honestly trying to work on that).  The number two reason is that I really don't want that kind of responsibility.  What's funny is that in the US, whenever you explain to people that you're a foreign language major they always (well, almost always) ask "Do you plan to teach with that?"  This is amusing to me because in Europe, studying another language means working in that language, it means studying philology and history and culture and translation.  Not teaching.  Apparently it's an American thing that I will probably never understand, but whatever.  I've always kind of resented the whole "Do you want to teach" mentality though, because no, I don't want to just teach, I want to do so much more with my language skills than explain to people how and when to conjugate the subjunctive.  Which isn't a bad thing, per se, it's just not for me.

But I'm beginning to change my mind.  At least somewhat.  My brother was offered a position as a TA (Teaching Assistant, someone who works directly with a professor at a university) in Korea for an English program via a friend, and it really got me thinking.  Considering my status right now and my complete lack of employment or much else, why not do this.  Or at least look into it.

There's a program that the Spanish Ministry of Education does with students and recent grads from North America with the purpose of working with an already established English teacher in Spain, so that they can explain to Spanish kids what goes on in their country, US or Canada, and help them with their English/French skills.  You can even choose which Comunidad Autónoma you would prefer to be in, though not the city, and earn a monthly stipend.  There's another program that does teaching opportunities in Spain that I'm looking into but it involves teaching to professionals.  It's only in Madrid, but Madrid is central enough that it'd be impossible for it to not work.  To be honest, I'd rather stay in Madrid than somewhere like Andalucía anyway.  I mean, my best friend's boyfriend studies in Madrid so she's out there every couple weekends or so to visit him.

I've actually already started filling out the application for the second program.  There are a few minor bumps in the road but nothing I can't get taken care of soon, aside from the 50€ application fee, but that's not really so bad.  I just haven't even finished with this thing yet and I'm getting excited.  I still have to find some kind of employment, or at least some means of income, until next September when the program begins, but by then I should be out of my little funk anyway.  Any possibility I can find to get my ass back home I'm on board with, really.  And I'd rather deal with adults than kids, and I'd live in Madrid if I had no other choice, especially since my best friend is connected to the city (and I could still go up and visit her too).  This is about the only other way I can think of to find employment in Spain and to be able to get out there and stay there and not have to worry about being there for too long.  Last time I was there for a month and it very nearly broke me.

I may not be a teacher, but hopefully I may not even need to make a career out of it.  I may be able to get another visa to stay doing something else, who knows.  But at least I'll have a definite plan for the nine months of the school year...and then we'll see.

What do you all think of this idea?  I'm always afraid to lay out any plan I have that I get excited about because it almost always ends up badly, but at this point, the worst that can happen is that they tell me I'm overqualified or something or that I can't come up with the money for the application fee or the visa at all (I need everything ready before March).  And then I can still try to find a job for the next nine months until I'm ready to go.  It's just...it's Spain, guys.  It's home.  Where my parents aren't breathing down my neck and criticizing every move I make because I can't get a job.  Where I can actually have good ol' old fashioned fun because I know people.  I'm probably building this up a little more than I should since nothing at all is finalized and I haven't even told my parents yet.

I just...

SPAIN.


I'll sleep on it and come back in the morning with a post for the New Year, since I missed Christmas.  Oops.

Mi vida da asco

Por enésima vez en el pasado año y medio estoy desesperada, con una frustración que no puedo más con ella.  Llevo año y medio buscando trabajo donde lo haya, sin conseguir nada más que entrevistas para puestos que no son nada adecuados para mí y recibir correos electrónicos explicándome que han eligido a otra persona para el puesto y buena suerte o, peor aún, no oír nada.  Porque lo de "lo siento, pero hemos ocupado el puesto que solicitaste" al menos me dice que han pensado en mí.  ¿Lo de oír nada?  Vamos, a mí no me jodáis, ¿eh?

Normal families go shopping the day after Christmas, mine goes to art museums.

Life has gotten more interesting chez Ella.  My youngests brother and sister are home from university, and my brother will be here through January, my sister leaves on the 3rd for an Interim (Winter Break) class in Venice (yes, that Venice).  I still don't have a job, which is incredibly frustrating when I was told two weeks ago by an employment agency I'd registered with (and applied for a W4 with) about an opportunity but then it never came to fruition.  So it's back to square one I guess.

Christmas was about the same as it always is for me; not as disappointing as previous years but because of my (stupidly) high expectations about the holiday I still wasn't as content.  But then again, I haven't had a Christmas to my expectations since I was 10.  So there's that.  I did get one thing I wanted though, so I'm not as bitter as I've been in previous years.  But I'll stop whining now.  I'm just happy my parents can finally afford to have a good Christmas.  It's been far too long.  That and the fact that I've felt the love that you're supposed to feel at Christmastime for other reasons, so complaining is pointless.  Overall, it's been a wonderful holiday.

Yesterday we drove two hours south to Atlanta, Georgia in order to check out the "From Picasso to Warhol" exhibit at the High Museum of Art.  It's an exhibition of paintings of on loan from the MoMA in NYC of painters of twentieth century art including Fernand Léger, Joan Miró, Marcel Duchamp, Louise Bourgeois, Jackson Pollack, Jasper Johns, and others with the theme of "graphic art".  While the rest of the High doesn't have as impressive a collection, the special exhibit was impressive.  It was probably the next best thing to going to the MoMA in Manhattan, where I still have never been and yes, it eats at me constantly.  I've written about my background in art appreciation a few times, and while I can't say I'm an expert in amateur art appreciation, I like to think I've seen enough world-renowned paintings in person to be able to say that I know my fine art (Velázquez's Las Meninas and El Greco's El Entierro del Conde de Orgaz are life-changing in person, as are Dalí's El Gran Masturbador and Girl in the Window as well as  Picasso's Guernica).  And because the buildings that house major modern art galleries are designed specifically for that purpose, I can feel like I'm a millionaire just by looking closely into Mondrian's Trafalgar Square hung on a white plaster wall.  Right now, I feel like I could walk into the Mies van der Rohe pavilion in Montjuïc and feel like I could own the place.  That building is actually what I'd love to model my dream house on, if I ever had the money.  But that's another story for another day.

So really, as much as I like to complain about the current state of my life, self-inflicting or not, with a little less laziness and a little more assertiveness, I think I really could own everything I could be and should be.

But before I forget, I've jumped on the Spotify bandwagon.  Click the button below to check out my profile and some of the playlists I've created!  There's a "Barcelona Summer Nights" one that I'm really excited about.


/shameless plug